Is anyone still out there?

I’ve been gone for quite awhile.  I’m not really sure what to say about it.  I’ve thought about this post a lot.  How can I even begin to write about the last 2 1/2 months?  I decided that I just need to do it.  I need to just write and get it out.  I’m hoping that I might be able to help someone else with my words.  More than that, I’m hoping that someone else’s words will help me.

I lost my job.  My church job.  Honestly, my emotions are still quite raw, and I’m not sure when they will heal.  At first there were so many questions.  I couldn’t understand any of it.  Now it seems like there are too many answers.  I’m always analyzing and coming up with a new reason why it happened.

This is easily the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.  I didn’t just lose my job; I lost my support system.  I feel like I’m going through a divorce, and Pointe North is my ex.  My ex’s family may tell me that they still love me and are praying for me, but I know that they are not really a part of my life anymore.  It hurts when I hear that my ex has moved on and is doing well.  I can’t be in the same room.  I had to move out and run back to my parents.  See what I mean?

Well, here it is.  My first post-divorce post.  I’m hoping this will be a step toward normalcy.  Hopefully I will be back to my regular, hilarious-story-telling self again soon.

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8 Responses to Is anyone still out there?

  1. Felica says:

    I went thru a similar divorce a couple years ago. There is HOPE! Keep going forward thru the pain.

  2. Nicole Blakely says:

    Becky, I am so glad that you posted something! I have really, really missed your hilarious blogs. You really have a way with words and I used to enjoy reading all of your posts. I think you should continue to write your thoughts and feelings…it could be a start to the “healing process” just to get your thoughts out in type. I have no idea why you left PNCC and no idea what you are going through but I pray that God will make his purpose clear for you soon and that you find peace in that purpose! I miss seeing you and I know that Tara does too! You are in my prayers!

  3. Becky says:

    I just know I miss you…….. I there is a great plan for you with great things to come……

  4. chaotic joy says:

    I hope so too. I am glad you are back. You have been constantly on my heart. I cannot imagine the funny stories your cruise job will inspire. Should make for some great reading!

  5. chrissy says:

    I hope you are back to yourself soon, too. I know this time has been hard- still IS hard, I mean. I wish I could make it easier. Praying for you lots.

  6. Wendy says:

    I’m praying for you, too. And I’m glad you’re back.

  7. tena says:

    WE will always be a part of your life…we are here when you need us, and when you don’t. We love you and miss you immensely!!! We are praying for your healing and that as time goes on you will be able to see what and where He is moving in your life…it never makes sense when we are going THROUGH it…but when you look back–WOW!!!
    And just wait til the day when you say “What next Lord, what are you going to do with me now…I am ready!”
    And by the way, the cruise thing…can you say JEALOUS!!!

  8. Chastity Allen says:

    There are people in your ex’s family that still love you and miss you terribly. I was so sad to see that you had left. My kids miss you and love you as well! Hang in there it will get better! Miss you

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